Play It Again, Abby

Dear Abby:   My husband is in the paint business. A young widow in the next town asked him to paint her kitchen. He started four months ago and isn’t finished yet. Abby, is this possible? — Marion
Dear Marion:   How big is the kitchen?

Dear Abby:   I’ve been going with this girl for a year. How can I get her to say yes? — Don
Dear Don:   What’s the question:

Dear Abby:  Between you and me, the people who write you are either morons or they’re just plain stupid. — Henry
Dear Henry:  Which are you?

Dear Abby:  My problem is my sorority sister. I’ve fixed her up with several real sharp guys, but they never ask her out again because she’s so quiet. They all say it’s just like pulling teeth to get a word out of her. Any suggestions? — A.E. PHI
Dear A.E. PHI:  Yes. Get her a date with a dental student.

Dear Abby:  Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife had a ten-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me, can a baby this big be premature. Tell me, can a baby this big be that early? — Wondering
Dear Wondering:  The baby was on time, the wedding was late. Forget it.

Dear Abby:  My husband, being a minister, has very little time for marriage relations, so he sets aside one night a week which is Sunday; then he goes at it for all he is worth. On Monday morning I am dead tired and can’t do the washing. What should I do? –Ruby In Ashville
Dear Ruby:  Wash on Tuesday.

Dear Abby:  Is it possible for a man to be in love with two women at the same time? –Jake
Dear Jake:  Yes, and also hazardous.

Dear Abby:  What factor do you think is the most essetial if a woman is to have a lasting marriage? — Dotty
Dear Dotty:  A lasting husband.

Dear Abby:  I am forty-four and would like to meet a man my age with no bad habits. — Rose
Dear Rose:  So would I.

Source:  Reader’s Digest/by Abigail Van Buren (Condensed from “The Best of Dear Abby”)